I always become emotional when one of my kids gets older. With 23 years I’ve got our first child and with 25 our second one. Last Friday we celebrated Sammy’s 5th birthday. It’s so commonplace to say, but it’s true: time flies and nothing better expresses it, than this quote: “the days are long but the years are short!”, and I couldn’t agree more.
We only had a small brithday party with our closest friends and family, as Sammy wants to do later a pool birthday party with a lot of her school friends:). It gives me a bit more time to prepare the party properly with all the details – I really love the birthday planning:). I have everything in my mind already!
Back to the topic of this blogpost..it’s about what I’ve learnt in this 5 years having two kids: I remember the day by my heart when I came home from hospital with Sammy and I tried to do everything normal at home. Right after being home I was cooking, playing with Sienna (my elder one), spending time with the dogs and my husband. Everyone aked: are you not tired and I said: No I’m ok but then I was up every night up breast feeding and the tiredness overtook me and also I became a feeling of guilt. I was crying (and I think I was still very emotional after birth) but I said to my husband: I have no time anymore for Sienna, my husband and pets…I had the feeling I’m unable to cope and totally was overchallenged. All the worries came up then. But luckily my husband and my family gave me alot of support and said it’s totaly normal that I had this feeling. But after a few weeks we’ve got a good rythm and everything was back to “normal”. Of course there were difficult days and I’ve learnt the most it’s necessary to disicpline but even more necessary to show them love. My husband I and are not afraid of saying NO or letting them cry until they pull themselves back together. However, how matter we upset we are sometimes, we always come back and show even more love. This way they know that mommy or daddy were upset but we still inrcredibly love them and are so proud of them, how they become so beautiful human being!
I also have learnt that there is no right or wrong in motherhood. There are so many different opinions from other parents for expample about, sleeping, eating, co-sleeping, “cry-it-out”, education, vaccination yes or no and later about schools, etc. etc..I think every parent know their child and what’s the best for them and should not always get convinced by others – always listen to your heart.
Sometimes I think that we are the strictest parents but it’s because we really have a plan for them and want always the best for them. Although, the right balance of being strict and “letting them go” is surely the right thing to always get their trust and love back. We have the idea, that involves them living out their dreams. Helping them achieving those dreams will likely involve us having to set limits and protect them. I used to think my parents were so oldfashion, but they always said: school is important:)).
Most of all now at school, we tell our kids that people can be mean but you can always control your reactions. Always give them the benefit of the doubt and offer them kidness in return. But we also say don’t be a doormat. Don’t let your peers boss you around and tell you what to do, because it’s okay to stand up yourself and tell people what you don’t want to do.
Last but not least, we never force our girls things to do which they don’t like (except going to school:),because it’s important)) but I mean any kind of sport, playing music instrument and so on. We’d like the idea that they find out, what makes them happy and do this alot. It should be their passion and interest and in the end the best to work it into their life plan. Right now, they’re still in a age of finding out what they like and they want to play a lot, which is so important as well. I love discover things with them in a playful way.
I can tell you: mootherhood is messy, and challenging and crazy and sleepless and giving and still unbelievably beautiful.
Have a great week!
Jeans: Paige via www.revoleclothing.com
Sweater: Free People via www.nordstromrack.com
Boots: Asos www.asos.de